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GET RICH OR DIE TRYING

Hi guys.
So, after spending some time pretending to work in a shop for no money, I figured it might be an idea to, y'know, ACTUALLY work in a shop for real money.

I blitzed out some CVs (full of lies) one fine day and the next day I got a response from the Post Office. Now I've got a job there.

INTENSEBAMBOO GETS HIS FIRST JOB, GETS MONEY, GETS PAID

So currently I just work in the shop bit, selling wool, stamps, stationary, food, lottery tickets and scratchcards. You wouldn't believe how much people waste on that gambling shit.

On my first day alone on the tills turns out I overcharged £300 on wool oops lol

I'm a pro now

INTENSEBAMBOO PROFILES HIS RETAIL AUDIENCE

So I get a few regulars. Most notably Irish Coronation man, Maria and Gambling Jane.


Maria is a shrivelled 73 (I'm guessing) year-old Italian/Romanian/Dracula woman with glasses and a bony nose. She's a nice enough woman but I made the mistake of telling her my name. Now everytime I see her (everyday for about an hour when she keeps buying scratchcards, scratching them, buying more, scratching, rinse, repeat) she says "Hello. Goot to see you." and repeats over and over again "Lee you are very nice" in a worrying tone of voice that I fear is an attempt at coming on to me.

Gambling Jane is annoying and comes at the most inconvenient times. She's a fat shaven haired lesbian convict woman who actually went to prison and my half-boss Del the Funky Homosapien tells me she's "completely ripped people apart" inside the shop before. Not someone I want to get on the wrong side of. Apparently she doesn't like being called Jane but rather prefers "James".



She comes in the shop for hours at a time, buys a £20 wad of scratchcards, wins nothing, buys another £20 pound wad, wins £3, buys another £20 wad, wins nothing, buys another £20 wad, wins £7 etc. She pushes in and holds up queues no end.

Yesterday Gambling Jane came in and stopped me from flirting with a cute Italian girl and then held me up until cute Italian girl had to leave :<
FUCK YOU GAMBLING JANE! >:U


Cute Italian girl still went out of her way to say bye to me though. Fuck yeaaaaaaaaaah

Fun facts I've learnt at work:
-Posh people don't know what landscape means.
-Half the population of Boscombe have wonky eyes.
-The Queen's coronation anniversary is June 2nd.
-I should leave my job and become a surveyor like Mrs. Customer's husband.
-My half-boss has a catchphrase. "There are cheaper ways to kill yourself."

If I bring in some references I get a job upgrade. Fuck yeaaaaaaaaah.

Yesterday I got paid for the first time ever and now
I'M ROLLING AROUND IN MONEY. MINIMUM WAGE AWWWW YEAAAAAAH


Me enjoying my new found wealth

But my boss is giving me the wrong minium wage lol. £1 more an hour than I should get. Waheeey.

I'm off the dole now. Got this job just in time 2 days before they were going to send me on a compulsory 2 week "how to write a CV and go to interviews" course with violent unsavoury characters/dolescum lolol.

Farewell Welfare :<

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
intensebamboo
13th Jun, 2010 19:46 (UTC)
Re: ;oirjnv
More than you'll ever know.
(Anonymous)
14th Jun, 2010 00:17 (UTC)
I also
work in the gambling industry and must say people are stupid.

I suspect you work in a post office.
(Anonymous)
8th Apr, 2011 06:00 (UTC)
NATO takes over command of military operations in Libya
[b]NATO is taking over command of military operations in Libya from coalition forces, world media reported Sunday.[/b]

The UN Security Council imposed the no-fly zone over Libya on March 17, along with ordering "all necessary measures" to protect civilians from Muammar Gaddafi's attacks on rebel-held towns.

The 28 NATO ambassadors met on Sunday to decide on further military plans in Libya.

The United States transfers command for a no-fly zone over Libya to NATO, while coalition forces will continue to protect civilian population from attacks by Gaddafi forces.

The military operation in Libya, codenamed Odyssey Dawn, has been conducted so far jointly by 13 states, including the United States, Britain and France.

NATO members decided on Thursday to assume responsibility for the enforcement of a no-fly zone in Libya, but could not agree on taking full command of all military operations in the country.

Meanwhile, leaders of the 27 European Union states on Thursday issued a statement saying the EU stood ready to assist in building a new Libya "in cooperation with the United Nations, the Arab League, the African Union and others."

MOSCOW, March 27 (RIA Novosti)

http://en.rian.ru/world/20110327/163235937.html
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )