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Let's have a look at an intense debate in UK Parliament.




Now let's have a look at the wisest minds in Canada in the Canadian Parliament.


I fucking love you Canada.

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WELCOME TO YEAR 2

WELCOME TO YEAR 2 OF MY BLOG!

I call it Year 2 because it sounds more impressive than day 20.

So far this year I've learnt that there's no greater joy in life than howling along to I Want a Rock & Roll Guitar at the top of your lungs in the early hours of the morning on New Years day after a few drinks.

I have no internets, so don't expect any constant stream of posts.

Also, I forgot to get the Couple's Mask last night and stop the moon crashing into the planet, so sorry about that


For bros who have seen Pulp Fiction



Makes more sense if you know the dialogue from Pulp Fiction, y'know.

I STILL WANT REPLIES ON THAT HAT POST.
WITH A NAME.
THIS AIN'T NO HIT & RUN OPERATION.


Also, we've overflown the 20 post mark, meaning the blog now has a << Previous Entries button and the posts are spread over two pages.

To celebrate this fact, I hear people have organised a global party in my honour at midnight tonight.

Srsly guys

LEAVE A NAME WHEN YOU DROP A COMMENT ON MY BLOG
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE WELL WAAAAAAA TOO BAD WALUIGI TIME

TRIUMPHANT RETURN

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AHHHHHH! AFTER TEN THOUSAND YEARS I'M FREE! IT'S TIME TO CONQUOR EARTH!

BUT FIRST, I NEED TO ASK YOU GUYS A QUESTION.

SHOULD I GET THIS HAT?

I thought it was mega super turbo cool, but do you think it looks a bit faggotish?







Need your input guys. If you don't comment, I'll murder your entire family and feed them to Edward Cullen.

.

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Dhokémon

I had to wait 2 God damn hours for my Dhole appointment today.
TWO GOD DAMN HOURS
AAAAARGGHRGHFGHRGFHGRDHDJFHDJSAHKLA


BLOODY FASCISTS

Also, I swear to God this actually happens.


Also, HOW THE FUCK CAN ANYONE NOT KNOW HOW TO PLAY POKÉMON?!? YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, ADRIAN.
"I don't want to catch a Rattata, do I Lee?"
"You didn't tell me I wasn't supposed to die!"

I DONUT UNDERSTAND HOW ANYONE CAN BE OBLIVIOUS TO THE RULES OF POKÉMON. I THOUGHT POKÉSENSE WAS INNATE FROM BIRTH.


In other news, this bloggotry seems to be forcibly improving my HTML.

Light Projection

Goddomit, this is HELLA cool

Props to Byrom for bringing it to my attention

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CHRIS MORRIS' FOUR LIONS

I'm rarely excited about anything these days as I've grown into a harsh cold emotionless droid. But for once, something has got me excited, and excited like a child. 

Chris Morris is one of, if not my favourite comedian, satirist and political commentator. He's the man behind Brass Eye, The Day Today, Nathan Barley and other shows.

If you haven't seen any of his stuff I HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU WATCH IT. The Brass Eye episode "Paedogeddon" is one of his most notorious pieces of work, although I recommend you watch some of The Day Today too.

His stuff is spot on




Give a listen to this rehash of Princess Diana's funeral service:



Anyway, the reason I'm so excited is that it's been announced that Chris Morris's newest work Four Lions, a film about British teenage Muslim extremist terrorists that he's been working on over the past three years, has been offically selected for the World Cinema Dramatic Competition at Sundance, the key annual international event for independent cinema, which takes place in Utah from 21st - 31st January. I've been impatiently waiting for this film since it was announced, so I'm tripping bawls to hear its release is near.

Here's a synopsis of the film:

In three years of research, Chris Morris has spoken to terrorism experts, imams, police, secret services and hundreds of Muslims. Even those who have trained and fought jihad report the frequency of farce. At training camps young jihadis argue about honey, cry for their mums, shoot each other’s feet off, chase snakes and get thrown out for smoking. A minute into his martyrdom video, a would-be bomber looks puzzled and says "what was the question again?" On millennium eve, five jihadis set out to ram a US warship. They slipped their boat into the water and carefully stacked it with explosives. It sank.

Terrorist cells have the same group dynamics as stag parties and five a side football teams. There is conflict, friendship, misunderstanding and rivalry. Terrorism is about ideology, but it’s also about berks.

Four Lions is a funny, thrilling fictional story that illuminates modern British jihad with an insight beyond anything else in our culture. It plunges us beyond seeing these young men as unfathomably alien. It undermines the folly of just wishing them away or alienating the entire culture from which they emerge. It understands how terrorism relates to testosterone. It understands jihadis as human beings. And it understands human beings as innately ridiculous. As Spinal Tap understood heavy metal and Dr Strangelove the Cold War, Four Lions understands modern British jihadis.





 





 

This film looks and sounds like it's going to be FUCKING AMAZING <3


 

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Shit just got real

Awesome because he looks like Red Spy from TF2




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Tarboy

If you haven't seen this already then check this out. Best Flash animation I've ever seen, in terms of production value, animation, effects, story, character, use of music... everything.

CLICK HERE TO VIEW IT. DO IT.Collapse )

THIS BEAR DRIVING GAEMS

HOLY SHIT THIS GAME IS AMAZING
BADGERS EVERYWHERE

THE BEST 2 AND A HALF MINUTES OF YOUR LIFE YOU'LL EVER SPEND

GO DOWNLOAD IT
 

http://forums.tigsource.com/index.php?topic=4964.0
 

OH SHIT
 


OH MY GOD THREE BADGERS OH FUCK
 
HOW DO I EAT FISH
WHAT IS THIS I DONT EVEN

 

 
FUCK YES! YOU ARE THE BEST BEAR DRIVING GAME EVER!  


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So a week and a bit ago I went on a diplomatic mission to Southampton. After managing to catch the train to the right place tout seul for the first time ever (pretty hardcore, I know), we went to Paul's friends' house and to my joyful surprise, PEOPLE WERE MAKING ZELDA BISCUITS



 

I ate a Triforce of Power, Wisdom and Courage, as well as a Water Medallion. There was also a Bow & Light Arrow but someone ate that b4 the pic. After some food I forced myself to try out of politeness (and actually enjoyed) and some Belle & Sebastian/Rhode Island, went to sleep on a couch.

 

Travelled up to London by coach with Soton Conservation Soc. the next day for the blue-themed London Climate March: The Wave, where we campaigned to abolish the climate or some shit like that. A woman asked me if I wanted a "braveheart beard" so I went for it, and got some tribal lines while I was at it.

 
Pirates conversing with my bro "Redbeard".



50,000 people flooded the streets of London in the biggest climate change march in the world ever.

There were ALL SORTS there:



Furfags...




Furfags...




Furfags...

 


And a FUCKING DRAGON. This guy was cool as hell. He had a moving jaw and realistic movements and everything.
 

 


 

Seriously guys, save the polar bears and shit.

i was just robbed by this man

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Neil BuchSANDan

Posted this on Facebook a few months ago.


"Try it y'self!"

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SCOTT JACKSON

SCOTT JACKSON IS SUCH A FAGOT HE THINKS HE CAN BULY ME JUST BECAUSE HES A SPONCERED FREERUNNER SERIOUSLY JUST BECAUSE THIS GUY HAS ALL THE CASH AND IS FAMOUS AND NOW HE THINKS HE CAN TREAT ME LIKE DIRT JUST BECUASE IM NOT FAMOUS!?!?!?



hes threatening me as well!! he said todat that if i ever cam to winton again he wold rough me up seriously wat is this guys problem!!!! i always hav to deal with shit like this i mean when hav i ever been a dick like that never!!! all that power has gon to his head and he thinks hes the bees nees nd ive tried to get him baned from the internet i even called the police but they cant do anything probly because hes famous. life is SO UNFAIR why is iut the jerks that always get famous id be pretty good at it guyts i need ur surport right now

srsly scott bak of or il get all the people who read my blog to go to ur youtube page and then people will c how nasty u reli are

sory guys but if this continues im LEAVING THE INTERNET FOREVER

Since the Guardian has been banned from parliamentary proceedings, things have got progressively sillier.
www.guardian.co.uk/media/2009/oct/12/guardian-gagged-from-reporting-parliament

Somehow, I've only just heard out about this, which is quite ridiculous.

Basically, greedy members of Parliament have been bumming the fatcats of the Entertainment industry in pursuit of MONEY and at the expense of everday people, and have proposed the Digital Economy Bill. Enjoy having ISP's mandatorily spy on what you download.

But it gets better than that. Take a gander

www.boingboing.net/2009/11/20/britains-new-interne.html
www.boingboing.net/2009/11/19/breaking-leaked-uk-g.html


"Secretary of State Peter Mandelson is planning to introduce changes to the Digital Economy Bill now under debate in Parliament. These changes will give the Secretary of State (Mandelson -- or his successor in the next government) the power to make "secondary legislation" (legislation that is passed without debate) to amend the provisions of Copyright, Designs and Patents Act (1988).

What that means is that an unelected official would have the power to do anything without Parliamentary oversight or debate, provided it was done in the name of protecting copyright. Mandelson elaborates on this, giving three reasons for his proposal:
1. The Secretary of State would get the power to create new remedies for online infringements (for example, he could create jail terms for file-sharing, or create a "three-strikes" plan that costs entire families their internet access if any member stands accused of infringement)
2. The Secretary of State would get the power to create procedures to "confer rights" for the purposes of protecting rightsholders from online infringement. (for example, record labels and movie studios can be given investigative and enforcement powers that allow them to compel ISPs, libraries, companies and schools to turn over personal information about Internet users, and to order those companies to disconnect users, remove websites, block URLs, etc)
3. The Secretary of State would get the power to "impose such duties, powers or functions on any person as may be specified in connection with facilitating online infringement" (for example, ISPs could be forced to spy on their users, or to have copyright lawyers examine every piece of user-generated content before it goes live; also, copyright "militias" can be formed with the power to police copyright on the web)
Mandelson is also gunning for sites like YouSendIt and other services that allow you to easily transfer large files back and forth privately (I use YouSendIt to send podcasts back and forth to my sound-editor during production). Like Viacom, he's hoping to force them to turn off any feature that allows users to keep their uploads private, since privacy flags can be used to keep infringing files out of sight of copyright enforcers.
This is as bad as I've ever seen, folks. It's a declaration of war by the entertainment industry and their captured regulators against the principles of free speech, privacy, freedom of assembly, the presumption of innocence, and competition.

This proposal creates the office of Pirate-Finder General, with unlimited power to appoint militias who are above the law, who can pry into every corner of your life, who can disconnect you from your family, job, education and government, who can fine you or put you in jail. "


Charlie Stross -

"I’m a self-employed media professional working in the entertainment industry, who earns his living by creating intellectual property and licensing it to publishers. You might think I’d be one of the beneficiaries of this proposed law: but you’d be dead wrong. This is going to cripple the long tail of the creative sector — it plays entirely to the interests of large corporate media organizations and shits on the plate of us ordinary working artists.

This bill isn’t about securing our creative industries. It’s about fucking the little guys, depriving them of channels to reach their public, and about protecting the cartel of big media organizations who are threatened by the development of the public internet. And it stinks from the head down."


Andrew Barrett -

" Mandating ISPs to snoop on their own customers is a deeply concerning privacy issue. The so called ‘three strike’ rule within the Digital Economy Bill is what I find most alarming and unworkable though. To disconnect a user upon accusation of an illegal act, without provision of proof, evidence or fair trial is quite wrong. "


Mandelson.
YOU'RE A FASCIST.
GET THEM TO PRINT YOU A T-SHIRT WITH "FASCIST" ON IT.



The scary thing is that the UK always seems to be leading this liberty-intrusive revolution. Britain is the cutting-edge of the Big Brother state. I would have thought that the country that produced Orwell and 1984, as well as popular contemporary political critics like Chris Morris and Charlie Brooker would be more defensive against this sort of thing. But the alarming thing is that there's been no visible public outcry. It saddens me that young people generally seem to have a lack of interest in politics these days. Looking around the world, politics has a much higher life value in the majority of other countries, but the UK has no educational system to teach mandatory politics in schools or common importance in culture, so the government have the potential to get away with hell. Hopefully, this bill won't pass if sense prevails.



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Need your help

As we all know, I aspire to be cool like Spook from Top Cat.
So, recently I've been hearing stories from blogs and the grapevine about interesting nights at clubs.

Now, I've never been too hot on alcohol due to personal reasons, and I never drink the stuff. But recently, I've been considering giving a go at this alcoholcentric socialising business. There's no harm in trying once, right? It should give me experience points.

I know nothing about clubs. I need people to suggest me some classy joints around Bournemouth that I can try out this business so I can become better acquainted with the Bournemouth scene. Also, are there any decent clubs that play good music? Like, Hip Hop or Indie or Electronic, rather than crappy R'n'B chart music?

Drop a reply.


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retroactive continuity

Maaaan, I need a decent PC or an XBox 360.


"gabe newman's in for more than he expected as a family visit quickly turns sour in the face of their ability to speak. gabe's own family skip work one day and fly tens of miles over to his city to discuss the finer things in life. "gimme one of those" "i want one of those things" they agreed upon entering a burger shot. but at the bottom of theyare hearts they felt the final cut. gabe's playful attempts at getting them all killed fail and he is forced to watch them get themselves killed without his assistance. as teh evening sky spiralled up into the infinite dusk, gabe newman stood desolate on the empty tarmac."


racistman3D BEST USER ON YOUTUBE

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DAYUM

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…………./´¯/‘…’/´¯¯`·¸
………./‘/…/…./……./¨¯\
……..(’(…´…´…. ¯~/‘…’)
………\……………..‘…../
……….’’…\………. _.·´
…………\…………..(
BRO FIST

IF YOU DONT POST THIS TO 5 BROS THEN YOU ARENT A BRO

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ROBOTEERS STAND BY

I've had some pretty amazing days recently. Went with Onix, Alakazam and Shenkwell to watch Law Abiding Shitizen. Afterwards, Alakazam left and we spent the night watching Robot Wars online. Then the two of them introduced me to this BADASS game called SHAOLIN FIRE FOOTBALL or something. Basically, you get a shirt, tie it in a ball, douse it in white spirit and set it alight. When you kick it makes a MEDIEVAL WHOOOOOOSH sound, the kind you would only expect to hear in a movie from a flaming trebuchet.




Anyway, we were walking back and found a crazazy abandonned suitcase open in a bush with all its contents leaking out. Naturally, we dragged the carcass back and searched it. Found some clothes, loads of old payslips, some music CDs, some small-sized New Rock boots, some bank letters and some photos. Tried to piece his life together, but just ended up taking some souvenirs for my wall.



We also found some more intimate, hairy photos.
PASQUALINO, YOU RAVAGING BEAST.

Stayed up 'til the morning for I think the first time ever watching and discussing music with Onix. Then I took the 2 hour walk home as the sun rose and experienced the early morning world I haven't experienced since school.



Also, sp-FUUUUUCK, THAT WOMAN ON TV LOOKS STRANGE-ent the night hammock camping in the forest a few days ago. Turned out to be the coldest day of the year outside of snow season. Pro-tip when camping in winter: wear at least 60 pairs of socks. Srsly, cold feet when you're trying to sleep is the most uncomfortable, annoying sensation in the world. Even more so than paper cuts, giving birth and YouTube comments.


One last thing to note down was my birthday. Went round the Jacksons' house in the evening where Adrienne and his crew had made me a cake. Three layers of chocolate sponge, with a red jelly moat, a layer of jelly and layer of chocolate, and steel nails sticking out of the top layer. Also got a hand drawn birthday picture from everyone, which will be going on my wall.

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Apparently, I'm in Preston according to LiveJournal's location detect.

And apparently 99% of the population of my town is of White ethnicity. Well I'll be a son of a gun.

The UK has a general ethnicity of 91% White and interestingly, if I was in Preston the figure would be around 82%.

To rectify these statistics, I've been listening to this pretty much non-stop over the past few weeks.


I'M SO BLACK I MAKE A RAT RUN, KICK IT IN THE ROAD AND MAKE YOUR FRIEND JACK RUN. I GOT MORE LAYERS THAN A LIGHT GREEN CABBAGE.




Christmas is nearly here and I still don't have a job. God knows how I'm going to afford to travel around the world in a year's time.

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We are ON BOARD

HARFDKJNFBSDGFNDKJZVJKV

It's been nearly a year since I've done any blogging of any kind. Figured I'd set this up because I'm one hip cat.

I have a terrible memory. As such, I find myself unable to remember previous encounters with people, plotlines to films I've watched, life events, holidays, adventures, bank PINs, conversations... basically all the things in my life that matter. But recently, I've devastatingly been starting to lose important memories that are fundamental to my identity. A recent discovery of old photographs has given me insight to old adventures, memories, and my young life in general. That's one of the main reasons I'm starting this blog. I hope to archive important memories, current affairs, current interests; a collection of mnestic catalysts. Hopefully, I can entertain too.

With that long intro out of the way, it's time to start things up.

THIS IS A TEST.


THIS IS ONLY A TEST.

THIS IS A TEST.

THIS STATION IS CONDUCTING A TEST OF THE EMERGENCY BROADCAST SYSTEM.




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